Kurt wondered exactly how Dave could practically read his mind so well. The man captured all of the thoughts that were jumbled inside of his head, and managed to articulate them perfectly for him. He shook his head, letting out a laugh that was filled with pure warmth. “How do you understand me like no one else can?” he asked, though the question was almost rhetorical. After all, it had been one of the reasons why Kurt had fallen head over designer boots for Dave in the first place, and one of the most significant at that. He wondered why it still wasn’t easy for them; after all the hell the two of them had been through, why was it that they still had more to face? In a more perfect world, their relationship wouldn’t have to be tested left and right.
“I just…I just keep thinking about all this stuff I didn’t think about before, and I keep panicking,” Kurt admitted, rubbing his hand over his face. “I mean…what if you meet some guy who’s not bitchy like I am, who doesn’t have a gay face, or pear hips, or anything remotely feminine in his looks, and likes football and chocolate biscotti and diabetes-inducing things like you do? You might wanna be with that guy, but you’ll feel too guilty about me being in New York and us still being together to be able to chase after him like you possibly would want to. Or…or, what if we can’t see other for…for years because our schedules are so conflicting…” he rambled all of his irrational fears, standing up and throwing his arms around dramatically.
“—and we’ll fight for so long, and it’ll just be horrible…a-and, what if…what if OSU turns out exactly like how Carmel was?” Kurt asked softly, not wanting to overstep an unspoken boundary by talking about the school where Dave was outed so terribly. He was just scared and worried and it was making him say things that he probably wouldn’t have before. “I…I just don’t want you to get hurt, Dave,” he told the man on the other end of the line. “Not again. You’ve gone through enough pain…I’ve seen you go through so much hurt, and…you can’t go through it again. Especially when I won’t be there to support you.”